I'm back!

Hi all. I'm back from several weeks of life-changing moments. Labor and delivery, bringing home a baby, and saying goodbye to a full night's sleep.

Everyone tells you that being a mother is hard, but really, it is HARD. Hard as in living with constant exhaustion. Hard as in holding a writhing, screaming body and not being sure what to do about it. Hard as in trying to find 15 extra minutes to take a shower. But then I look at his sweet, sleeping face or I get a fleeting smile from him, and I completely forget about the H-A-R-D.

I've never been so appreciative of family. My aunt and uncle have been wonderful, bring us rotisserie chickens, pizza, quarters for laundry, you name it. And taking turns trying to calm little N when he is upset. And my parents have come down to visit a couple of times already. Watching grandparents with their grandchildren is a delight. I can't believe how good my mom is with him. When she talks to him he stares at her, fascinated. He stares the same way at his toy alligator. And his cow.

I have to start getting up earlier, because Baby N has his happy time when he first gets up, around 7am. Up to this point, his dad has been watching him while he gets ready for work, while I sleep a little longer, catching up from getting up in the middle of the night. But I keep hearing how cute he was, how he was smiling and laughing. So I think I have to suck it up and try to get up with them so I can see these adorable smiles.

Well my blog my take a different tone now that my universe has shifted. I probably won't be getting out as often. But that's okay because home has become much more interesting as of late.

Insomnia

It's 5 o'clock in the morning, and I have been tossing and turning for about an hour. Tossing and turning figuratively, that is, because at this point my belly is too big for me to do it physically. It is a complex process to turn over now, which requires the transition of several pillows, an accidental elbow jab in David's back (who has taken up the use of earplugs because apparently I now snore), and some grunting.

I have gained just over 30 pounds now, all in my belly, and it's amazing what carrying that kind of weight does to you. Swollen legs, sore knees, you name it. Oh well, only six weeks to go.

Happy Holidays and here's to looking on the bright side

Here come the holidays once again. This is one of my favorite times of the year for a multitude of reasons. I love the excitement in the air, the joyful feeling that most people emit this time of the year. Of course, I love baking-lebkuchen, stollen, cookies. There is something magical about the smell of cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves wafting from the oven. Baking is a sort of alchemy---you start with simple ingredients: butter, sugar, eggs, some flour and some flavoring. But from the oven emerges something delicious that is absolutely the best thing to go with a hot tea on a cold evening.

The holiday season always reminds me of how lucky I really am. There are always negatives in life, and I complain a lot about living in a huge, crazy city, surrounded by millions of crazy people. But really, kindness and friendship abound. If you stop regarding the throng of people as a huge, throbbing mass, and just consider the individuals you know, the majority of them are great. I should thank all the people here in Homestead who make may day to day life pretty enjoyable. An extension agent here in Dade county who is from Poland just stopped by before Christmas to give David and I a bag full of Polish soups, mushrooms, chocolate, and these delicious dried apples form her mother's tree in Poland. That sort of generosity really lifts one's spirit.

So all is not lost, humanity. People do still care about other people, although we may have to search a little harder to find compassion. I for one remain an optimist. I am saying this as my kitchen ceiling has sprung a leak and we are waiting for the plumbers, and the brakes on my new car are grinding again, after having been 'fixed' two weeks ago. Sigh. What can you do but keep plugging along and enjoying all the good times?

Happy holidays everyone!